


This Tornado Loves You

by GorgonDivine



Series: Live For Today [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is Bad At Feelings, Reader-Insert, Romance, Vaginal Sex, You and Levi Are Clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 13:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16745146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GorgonDivine/pseuds/GorgonDivine
Summary: In the years before the fall of Shiganshima, you are an experienced member of the Scouting Regiment who's just been assigned her own squad.  You don't really care about Erwin's pet recruits from the Underground, but that won't last long, at least in regards to one of them.





	This Tornado Loves You

Shadis had to raise his voice to get people to quiet down.

“Some of you haven’t said anything yet,” he uttered, pointing down the table to where you sat quietly, arms folded. “I know you’ve just been promoted, but I want to hear any objections you’ve got.” Not that he was necessarily going to listen. Shadis wasn’t known for his careful consideration of others’ advice, least of all a brand new officer like you.

You didn’t hesitate, however. “I don’t have any real objections. I’m going to presume that Squad Leader Erwin is going to assume responsibility if they turn out to be a problem.”

Erwin raised his bushy eyebrows, while Shadis merely continued staring at you. You lifted your chin. “If you put any of them on my squad, Commander, they’ll get the same treatment as everyone else until and unless they prove they can’t be trusted.”

Some of your fellow officers looked disgruntled at this, and Flagon glowered across the table at you. Shadis only sighed, passing a hand over his face. “All right. Anything else?”

The room erupted into bickering again. You sat back in your chair, bored and wondering why anybody was being solicited for an opinion, least of all you, since Shadis seemed likely to approve Erwin’s request anyway. You’d been a squad leader for barely two weeks and were still getting the hang of the job, and to be honest, you didn’t really care about three new recruits from the Underground whom you hadn’t even met.

* * * * *

“I still don’t like them,” Flagon grumbled before he shoved another bite of stew into his mouth.

“So you’ve said, more than once,” you pointed out as politely as possible, inwardly rolling your eyes. “There’s nothing you can do about that, though. You said yourself they outdid expectations. So long as they behave, you can’t throw them off your squad.”

Flagon only snorted in response and continued to eat, scowling down at his bowl. You finished your food more slowly, glancing around the hall at the few who still remained. Off in a corner, at a table by themselves, sat the three recruits from the Underground. You’d heard that the tall, lanky blond and the girl with red hair had already proven themselves more than competent with their gear and weapons. However, it was the short, dark-haired one that had everyone talking. You hadn’t even seen the three of them in action yet, but Flagon wouldn’t stop bitching about them, particularly the latter.

The cranky officer finally finished his stew and left with a curt goodbye. Frankly, you were relieved to be rid of him and his sour mood. You were lately very preoccupied with thoughts of the upcoming expedition -- your first as a squad leader. This coming mission would put your mettle to the test. Inwardly, you still weren’t confident you knew what you were doing, but you’d be damned if you’d let that show.

Finally, you downed the last of the water in your mug and stood up to take your empty dishes back before heading towards the door. As you were reaching for it, the feeling of someone’s eyes on you made you look over at the corner where the three newcomers sat.

The blond man and the red-haired girl sat with their backs to you, but the dark-haired man -- Levi, his name was -- was across the table from them, facing the door. He was staring right at you. He had hooded gray eyes, you noticed, and regarded you with what seemed to be cool disinterest. After a moment of silently looking back at him, you turned away and pushed the mess hall door open to leave.

* * * * *

“Hurry and get up here,” Mike called down to you. “You’ve gotta see this.”

“All right, all right.” You fired your lines at the trunk of the mighty tree, in whose branches rested a platform for the use of the maintenance crew who repaired the Titan dummies standing around the training forest. Your feet left the ground, and with a graceful swing to the right, you fired again and sailed onto the wooden planks, landing in a crouch beside Mike.

“Where are they?” you said, squinting behind you into the foliage.

“There. That’s Farlan." Mike pointed into the trees just as someone came flying past, heading straight for the Titan mockup that loomed only a few yards away, and somewhat lower than the platform so trainees had room to maneuver around it. There was the ring of steel, and Farlan swung wide, circling back around to go back the way he’d come.

“Did he get it?” you asked. Mike leaned over the edge of the platform so far you feared he might fall off, but he caught himself and shook his head.

“Made a wide cut, but not deep enough to bring down a real Titan. Hang on, the next one’s coming.”

You looked back as Isabel, bright hair flaming among the green leaves of the trees, whizzed past and dove for the mock Titan. Her sword swung out in a flashing arc, and you heard her give a battle cry, ferocious despite her high voice. “Hmm.” Mike said, peering after her. “She might’ve cut too deeply.”

“They’re still pretty good for people who just started doing this a week ago,” you observed.

“Rumor has it they were using ODMG down in the Underground. That’s how they ended up here,” Mike said. You opened your mouth to ask what he meant, but then he added, “Ah, here he comes. You’re not going to believe this.”

Someone flew past you so fast you could hardly make out anything about them. They executed a perfect turn, and then dove into a spin that had you and Mike both gaping with shock. “Like a goddamn tornado,” Mike muttered with admiration.

The spinning blades slashed into the fake titan’s neck before the person shot away, gliding back past the way he’d come. It was Levi. He didn’t look at you as he zoomed past, and in an eyeblink, he was gone. You both turned to look at the Titan dummy; slightly above the cuts made by Isabel and Furlan, its neck had been slashed open in a way that would’ve killed it had it been real.

“Now I see why Erwin and Shadis were so adamant about those three. The first two just need some practice at Titan-slicing, but the last one was perfect,” you said, awed.

“Erwin said that they’re pretty good working as a team. That Levi, though.” Mike shook his head. “Flagon nearly shat himself when Levi showed up holding one of his blades the wrong way and still managed to outperform most of the existing squad.”

“I’ve been hearing him complain about that for days now,” you groaned as the two of you prepared to leave your vantage point and return to headquarters.

* * * * *

You wouldn’t say it aloud, but you couldn’t help thinking grimly, _Well, at least Flagon won’t have to worry about Levi and his friends anymore_. The other squad leader was dead now. You hadn’t been fond of the man, but his loss was not something you took lightly. You didn’t wish death at a Titan’s hands on anybody, no matter how irritating they were.

Flagon hadn’t been the only casualty that day, and your heart felt heavy because of it. Other officers had warned you about this, about the way your subordinates’ deaths would feel like a knife to the heart unless you found a way to cope, but you were still learning this for yourself. You’d lost three members of your own squad, while two more were injured, and it was only your first expedition as a squad leader. One of the wounded lay in a cart and the other rode beside you as the regiment made its way back to Wall Maria. There was a wagon at the back of the train which held those bodies which could be recovered, and it wasn’t nearly full. Everyone left alive was tired, dirty, and more dispirited than usual, thanks to the rainy weather.

You called out to the man riding beside you. “Anders, how are you doing? We’re not far away now. Hold on, all right?”

The soldier’s broken arm rested in a makeshift sling. His face was tight with pain, but he nodded gamely and tried to smile at you. “I’ll manage,” he rasped, though he was holding his reins with the other hand in a death-grip, knuckles gone paler against his dark skin. You winced and started to stay something about getting him into a cart, but another of your squad rode up on Anders’ other side.

“I’ll look after him, sir,” she called to you, “and I’ll make sure he doesn’t pass out or fall off his horse.”

“Thanks, Fen,” you replied gratefully. Turning around to face forward, you saw that Wall Maria loomed up ahead, the rain darkening its stone surface and making it seem forbidding rather than reassuring. As you expected, a shouted signal was passed down from crier to crier, and the ragged line of wagons and horses came to a halt.

While the gates were slowly being opened, the rear scouts wheeled around to scan the horizon for approaching Titans, listening for the ground-shaking rumble that signaled their approach. All you could hear, however, was the sound of rain dripping from the sky, the wind pushing cold droplets into your face, the occasional stamping and neigh of a horse, and the groans of pain from the wounded.

Some distance ahead of you, riding alone and not speaking to anyone, was Levi. His hair was plastered to his head by the rain, since he’d not bothered to put his hood up. Though he sat up straight in his saddle, something about his posture made you think he was making an effort to do so. You thought you knew why. Isabel and Farlan had also died that day, and while you barely knew the three of them, you felt a twinge of sympathy for Levi. Every life lost in the line of duty was a tragedy, but when it was someone you cared for, there was little comfort to be found in the usual bromides about sacrifice and an honorable death.

To your right, you could hear Fen talking encouragingly to Anders, who was probably hanging onto consciousness more out of a desire to save face than anything else. You brought your horse up alongside the cart in front of you and leaned down to speak to one of the soldiers who lay in it. “Seanan. I want you to know you did well today. When we get back, I’m going to note in my report that you made your first solo kill. Hold on, we’re almost there.”

Seanan had been field-bandaged so heavily that it was hard to see her face, but she managed to bring her arm up in a weak salute before letting it fall to her side again. You smiled and saluted back, then sat up as the command to move was given and repeated down the line of riders and cart drivers. Falling back to ride behind the cart again, surrounded by the other survivors of your squad, you took a deep breath, shutting your eyes. You’d reached another milestone, but it wasn’t at all like you’d once thought it might be.

The train began to move forward. Wall Maria’s gate stood fully open against the gray sky. As you rode towards the entrance to humanity’s last haven, the edge of the storm suddenly fell away behind you to reveal the sunset, whose beams struck the great stone walls in front of you and tinted them with blood red.

* * * * *

It was an irony. Most people sleeping in the Survey Corps headquarters longed for a bedroom to themselves -- no loud snores, no repeated coughing, no whispers and shuffling as people sneaked out of bed, and no embarrassing realizations that your bunkmate above or below was having a furtive wank, thinking everyone else was asleep. You’d spent years getting used to the sounds of other people at night, and now that you had a coveted room to yourself, you couldn’t fall asleep.

Finally, after tossing and turning for an hour, you threw off your covers, disgusted. Struggling into your clothes, you shoved your feet into a pair of slippers and left your quarters in search of a hot drink to make you sleep. As you padded downstairs to the kitchens, you saw a light coming from under Hange’s laboratory door. You tiptoed past, hoping not to be discovered. You genuinely liked the scientist, but didn’t want to be pressured to drink some bizarre concoction that might have the opposite of its intended effect.

You hurried down to the mess hall and through a small connecting door that led into the kitchens, where a corner had been designated for soldiers to make their own tea after hours. Lighting a candle and using that to light the stove, you set a kettle on to boil, then searched the cupboard for the valerian root tea mixture you’d bought from an apothecary in town. As you waited for the water to boil, you leaned against the table, arms folded. The castle was quiet, save for a muffled but ominous _boom_ that sounded like something exploding in Hange’s laboratory.

Your thoughts went back to the letters you’d written to the families of two of your lost squad members; the third had not had any relatives left. It was an unpleasant duty and possibly one of the hardest things you’d ever done, but it was necessary. You’d made sure to emphasize that the fallen soldiers had fought bravely, and that you had been honored to serve with them, but you knew it was largely empty consolation for most of the grief-stricken families who received such letters.

There was nothing left of any of your dead squad members, so some of their personal effects had been taken by their friends, as was customary, to place reverently on the pyre the night after the regiment returned a few days prior. You’d watched the fire with tears in your eyes although you otherwise remained calm, standing at attention with Shadis and the other officers, the rest of the regiment behind you. Quiet sobs and hushed whispers were the only sounds other than the pop and crackle of the fires. Some people thought the sight of a visibly grieving squad leader was bad for morale. But you’d decided you would never be ashamed of shedding tears for the dead at their own funeral. It was the least you could do for those who had passed on in the line of duty.

You hadn’t seen Levi there, even though the remains of his friends -- such as they were -- had been recovered and laid on the pyre with respect. Perhaps they did things differently in the Underground, or maybe Levi didn’t feel like sharing his grief with everyone. In any case, people had stopped spreading rumors about the trio. It was a shame that two of them had to die to earn any respect from their fellow soldiers.

That thought made you feel grumpier, so when the kettle began to boil, you angrily seized it, almost spilling some of its contents, and shut the dampers on the stove to allow the fire to die. You prepared your tea and carried it back to the mess hall, intending to sit and drink it before going back to bed. But as you passed through the doorway, you paused. Someone was seated at the far end, a low-burning candle on the table before them. You made your way over to be sure it wasn’t someone who ought to be in their barracks, and as you drew close, you saw that it was Levi himself.

He wore a nondescript shirt that laced at the neck, though the ties hung loose, and had a mug in front of him which, from its smell, probably held something similar to yours. When he recognized you, he started to dutifully get to his feet, but you shook your head. “Never mind that. What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” His voice sounded almost bored, and he had the accent you’d come to associate with people from the city, Underground or not. “Are you going to give me stable duty or something for being out of bed after lights-out, Squad Leader?” he asked bluntly.

“No. And you can call me by name, at least right now.”

Levi said your name as if tasting it on his tongue and trying to decide if he liked it or not. “All right, then,” he said. You touched the table’s surface across from him, lifting your eyebrows. He blinked, clearly surprised that a superior would ask if she could sit down with him, but he recovered quickly and gave you a slow nod.

You sat down, placing your candle to the side and your mug in front of you. “I heard about your friends,” you said gently. “I’m sorry, for what that’s worth. I won’t insult you with platitudes, but they seemed like brave people.”

“They were.” Levi didn’t change expression, but you saw something come and go in his eyes that made your heart ache. The two of you regarded each other in silence for a few moments before he stated, “I want to ask you a personal question.” It wasn’t phrased as a request. You smiled in spite of yourself.

“Fine, but I might or might not answer.”

He tilted his head slightly. “How old are you?”

“Is that all?” You told him, adding, “I don’t know when my actual birthday is, so I just count each Winter Solstice, though Anders says I ought to count it at the New Year so I get presents on both days.” Levi appeared somewhat confused by this statement, so you clarified, “Anders is my younger brother.”

His eyes narrowed, scanning your face as if trying to memorize your features. “You two don’t look very alike. Or act alike, at that.”

“We aren’t related by blood.” You looked down at the steaming liquid in your mug as if your memories could be seen on its surface. “My birth parents died of a fever when I was a small child, and I was taken in by a farming family. They have an orchard near a village to the west of Wall Rose.”

“An orchard.” You glanced up. Levi still hadn’t taken his eyes from your face. “I’ve never seen one. I never even saw a live tree until I came here.”

“You’re from the Underground, so I suppose that makes sense.” You took a tentative sip of your tea, then another when you found it had cooled enough. “Any family?”

“None left now.” Looking back at him, you were surprised at his expression -- hard and cold, as if he was daring you to say something stupid or mock his grief. You set your mug down with a thump.

“I’m sorry to hear it,” you said steadily. “It must be hard to lose so many people dear to you.” You expected a sneer or a dismissive remark, but to your surprise, Levi just stared at you a moment longer, finally looking down at the table.

He took a slow sip from his cup and swallowed it carefully before observing, “You might be the only one around here who’s said anything like that to me and meant it.” His gaze flicked back up at you. “You really do mean it, though. I know. I saw you at the funeral the other night.”

“So you _were_ there,” you said before you thought, and to your surprise, Levi’s lips curled in a half-smirk.

“Only for a little while.” He looked away, his expression fading. “I said goodbye to Farlan and Isabel on my own.”

You both fell quiet again, and now it was your turn to study him. He was attractive, no doubt about that, though his foul mouth and rudeness had already driven away many of his admirers. Something about his bone structure spoke of past hunger and perhaps malnutrition, but he would probably overcome that the longer he spent in the Corps. His hands were calloused and bore evidence of the knuckles having been split in the past, probably while fighting. There was a very faint scar on the left side of his face, and you wondered how he’d gotten that one. _But the scars you can’t see are harder to bear_ , you thought suddenly.

When he turned back your way, you dropped your gaze and took a drink from your cup before clearing your throat. “So how old are _you_?”

“I’m around the same age as you,” he said, to your surprise. “ _You_ don’t look like it, though. I thought you weren’t much older than most of the brats here.”

“You don’t look it, either,” you told him, “and we’re practically middle-aged in terms of the Corps. Shadis is almost forty, I think, and he’s the oldest one. Most of the regiment is under twenty. People don’t last long here.”

“You have.” Something about the way he said it drew your eyes back to him. The bored expression had gone from his face entirely. “Erwin said you’ve been here for eleven years. He also told me you’d gone from the bottom half of your trainee group to having a higher solo Titan kill rate than nearly anybody else.”

“You’ll do even better before long,” you returned, smiling a little. “They’ll probably make you commander one day if you keep this up.”

“ _Tch_. Not a chance. I’m a criminal, remember? And I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want that millstone hanging around my neck.” He leaned forward a little, staring at you intently. “Anyway, killing isn’t what makes someone a leader. You should already know that.”

Again, your eyes locked with his. Something strange bloomed in your chest, but out of habit, you shoved it back down. “I do. But I’ll keep it in mind,” you replied. You finished your tea and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, earning a disapproving glance from Levi which you ignored. “I should go to bed. So should you. It’s getting late.”

“Is that an order, Squad Leader?” There was something strange in his voice -- not mockery, exactly, but an ironic undercurrent that made the warm feeling in your chest come back.

“Call it a strong suggestion.” You took your candle and mug and stood up to leave. “Goodnight, Levi,” you said over your shoulder.

“Goodnight,” he said, using your name and sounding as if he’d decided he liked it. For some reason, you were glad that he couldn’t see your face as you left.

* * * * *

It took you a little while to notice, but soon you realized that Levi made a point of engaging you in conversation whenever he got the chance. It wasn’t regularly, because he’d been reassigned under Erwin after Flagon’s death, and you were busy with your own duties. But it was often enough that you suspected he might even have made an effort to find you at times, though you weren’t sure he’d admit it if you asked.

It made sense once you thought about it, though. The Survey Corps’ Scouting Regiment did, in fact, have a lot of very young people in it. While you were proud of those you commanded, sometimes it was a relief to talk to someone who wasn’t barely out of puberty -- or conversely, from whom you didn’t have to take orders. Levi seemed to have adjusted to life in the Survey Corps overall, but he could be rather insulting to people he didn’t consider worthy of respect. That meant he was rude to almost everyone but Erwin...and you, for some reason. Being both older than most of his comrades and having lived a life of crime before his forced enlistment meant he had little in common with many of them.

Aside from your similar ages, however, you weren’t sure what Levi thought was different about you. Your uneventful rural upbringing stood in sharp contrast to his harsh childhood, and unlike Anders, you weren’t outgoing and charming. But Levi seemed to enjoy hearing you speak about things you’d read and places you’d seen. For your part, you were curious about Levi’s life in the Underground City, but unsure of how to ask about it. You’d already figured out that he would only talk about certain things when he felt the other person was worth his time.

“Your childhood sounds pretty ideal,” he once remarked while the two of you were returning equipment to an outdoor shed. “Orphaned girl adopted by a kindly farmer and his wife, raised in the countryside among trees and cow shit. I’m surprised anybody would give up that peaceful life for _this_.”

“It’s not that simple,” you replied, struggling with an armful of blade handles. “We have an older brother who's going to inherit the farm. I joined the Survey Corps because I wanted to get away from the village, and Anders followed a few years later because he didn’t want to work for Johannes all his life.”

“He couldn’t have gotten his own land?”

“Land costs money, and anyway, farming is a tough life. It’s not as bad as in the Underground, I suppose, but you have to work from dawn to dusk and deal with debt collectors, cheating merchants, and rich jackasses from the capital who ogle your teenage daughters before telling you _why no, there is no money in the Treasury to help, even though your village has suffered from a drought for the last three seasons_. And if you’re a woman, you get to work yourself to death _and_ keep a household running while having babies one after the other.” You paused, suddenly aware of how bitter you sounded, then sighed. “I chose the likelihood of a fast death over the inevitability of a slow one.”

Levi considered all this for a moment. “It sounds hard, but in a different way than where I’m from,” he said at last. “Yeah, there are a lot of murders, but it’s so dark down there that people get sick and die from it, and when diseases go around, there aren’t any doctors to help, not that anybody can really afford one.” He looked up at you, his mouth set in a hard line. “My mother died like that.”

“I didn’t know that. It must have been awful,” you said softly.

“It was, but it can’t be helped,” he said in his usual matter-of-fact tone, going back to sorting the equipment.

“Most people in our village made home remedies, and some even knew a little medicine if they were ex-Garrison soldiers. No former MPs in my backwater town,” you added wryly.

“ _Tch_. You were better off without any of those shitstains around,” Levi snarked, tossing an empty canister into the pile to be refilled. “There, done. Guess Erwin’ll be happy. Why didn’t you make somebody else do this?”

“I wanted to check over the equipment myself and I’m glad I did, because there’s a crack in this sword handle Holle was using. It needs to go to the gear and equipment division to get fixed. And I wanted to talk to you,” you added. Turning to face him, you raised one eyebrow, tilting your head and smiling a little. "We're friends, right?"

He stared at you for a moment before rolling his eyes, but he didn’t fool you. “ _Tch_. I guess so.”

* * * * *

While you liked being around Levi, more and more you felt off-balance too, as if there was something going on under the surface which you couldn’t quite figure out. Despite your humility, you were seldom at a loss for words or actions, and you’d never had this reaction to anyone before. It wasn’t merely that he was handsome -- the Survey Corps was full of attractive men and women, after all.  But he had a way of looking at you sometimes which left you flustered, though you tried very hard not to show it. Maybe it was because you’d never been friends with anybody as brutally honest as Levi. Of course, that didn’t explain those times when you seemed to have a similar effect on him.

“Shadis is an idiot,” Levi remarked with characteristic bluntness as you entered the commander’s war room a few days later, carrying a pile of books that needed to be replaced. He had been assigned to tidy the room and he was doing so with his usual thoroughness, clad in his cleaning gear. You’d never met anybody so obsessive about cleanliness as Levi, not even your own mother. But suddenly you weren’t in the mood to tease him about it.

“He is not, and you won’t repeat that in front of me again.” Your voice was calm, but you set the books down on the table with a loud thud to emphasize your words. “And that’s an order.”

“Sorry,” Levi muttered, and returned to what he was doing. There was a brief, tense silence as you sorted through the volumes, looking around for the shelves where you needed to replace them. After a while, you sighed.

“Why do you think he’s an idiot?” you asked quietly.

Levi turned around, still holding his feather duster, and folded his arms. He seemed to be contemplating a reply, but after a while, he shook his head. “I don’t know if I should tell you, actually.”

“Well, I won’t order you to. But he’s the commander and so what you and I might think of his intelligence is moot,” you said, hoping that would be the end of it.

Going over to one of the tall bookcases, you stretched up, trying and failing to replace a large volume on a high shelf. You heard an annoyed “ _Tch_!” before Levi came over with a stool and put it in front of the bookcase. “You’ll drop that on your head if you keep doing it that way.”

Instead of standing back to let you climb up and replace the book, however, he took it from you and stepped onto the stool himself to slide it back into place. When he got down, you suddenly found yourself standing very close to Levi.

You were taller, but not by much, and you studied him with rapt attention. His eyes were actually not merely gray, you discovered, but a kind of steel blue like the barrel of a gun, and they darkened as you watched. You were so near that you could swear you felt the heat radiating off his body. Levi shifted slightly, and somehow you were closer. His gaze devoured your face, and you felt your heartbeat speed up...then the spell that had fallen over the two of you suddenly broke.

Levi stepped back, almost tripping over the stool in the process. “Sorry, I wasn’t -- “

“It’s nothing, I -- “ You didn’t know where to look.

“...right. I should finish this.” He took up his feather duster again, though you noticed he was dusting the same shelf he’d just finished a minute before. The tips of his ears had gone pink.

 _What was that?_ you thought, very aware of the heat that had rushed through your body when he’d stood so enticingly near. You went back to you stack of books and finished your shelving in silence. Levi didn’t turn to look at you again as you took your leave, and it wasn’t until you were gone that he stopped pretending to dust and put his hand over his eyes, cursing under his breath.

* * * * *

“Hmph.” Anders scowled across the mess hall at Levi while listlessly pushing boiled potatoes around on his plate. The black-haired man sat with Erwin and his squad, completely oblivious to Anders’ glare. You had chosen to sit with your own squad that day, and you and Anders were the only ones left at the table.

“Oh, come on.” You nudged your brother with your shoulder. “Cheer up. It’s not as if he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Yeah, I know, sis. It’s hard not to feel resentful.” You opened your mouth to reassure him, but what Anders said next surprised you. “It took over a decade before they gave you your own command, and now they’re just handing _him_ a squad that he gets to choose himself, as well as a rank that they pulled out of their asses. I know he’s a better soldier than everyone else here, but it just seems unfair.”

Anders’ brotherly ire on your behalf warmed your heart, though it was misplaced. “I’m glad for your support, but don’t be mad on my account. I wasn’t exactly a high achiever when I came here, and I had to work really hard to catch up. It took a longer time than it might have taken other people for me to get my own squad. I don’t resent Levi for getting there sooner.”

“Yeah, but you’d do so well with Special Ops missions. You’re clever and you aren’t afraid of anything,” Anders argued.

“I don’t want that job. They’re going to send them out for even more dangerous stuff than what we normally do, and I’m not prepared for that.” You took a swig of your water, adding, “Anyway, it’s not like he’s really going to outrank me or anything.”

“I guess so.” Anders patted your shoulder. “Just don’t let him treat you like he does everyone else. I’ve seen what he’s like. Seen and heard,” he added with disapproval.

“Have I ever let anybody, man or woman, get away with that? Ever?” you asked incredulously, though a smile tugged at your lips. “I mean, you’re my own brother and I bust your ass just as hard as everybody else on the squad.”

“True enough.” Anders put a forkful of greens in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing and saying, “You’re kind of friends with Levi though, right? I noticed he’s not as mean to you as he is to everyone else.” He elbowed you teasingly. “Why, maybe he -- “

“Ugh, don’t say it!" you groaned, cutting him off before he got started. “It’s not like that! Bad enough that Mom and Dad think I’m going to marry every man whose name I bring up in conversation. Don’t give them more fuel for the fire.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Anders said, holding up a hand. “You’d just stick me with latrine duty if I said anything like that to them, anyway.”

“Right you are,” you replied slowly, not really listening anymore. Levi had stood up from his table and was walking towards you. At his approach, Anders sat up straighter. Levi stopped in front of you, ignoring your brother entirely. “Well, well, _Captain_ Levi,” you said with a smile. “What can I do for you?”

“ _Tch_.” he grumbled with a roll of his eyes. “I need to ask you about personnel. Are you done eating or should I meet you later?”

“I’m finished here.” You stood up. As you and Levi started off, you called back to Anders, “‘Bye, kiddo,” and he gave a halfhearted wave in return, still unnerved by Levi’s presence. It made you snicker to yourself.

Levi looked at you with faint amazement. “You call him ‘kiddo?’ He’s at least a foot taller and probably weighs twice as much as you.”

“He’s still my little brother and my subordinate, and he knows it,” you said briskly. “So, your office or mine?”

His mouth turned up in a faint smirk that suddenly made your face feel hot. “Hmm. Mine,” he said at least. “At least I know it’s clean.”

* * * * *

“You were right,” you told Levi a few days later as the two of you sat astride your horses, waiting along with the rest of the regiment for the gates of Wall Maria to open.

“About what?” His face had been covered in blood, and though he’d tried to wipe it away earlier, the wind had dried what was left into streaks and his black hair blew wildly around in the gale, making him look half-mad.

“About Shadis.” You lowered your voice as much as the wind permitted, nudging your horse nearer to his. “He _is_ an idiot, and I can’t believe I didn’t see it long before.”

“ _Tch_. You’re always giving people the benefit of the doubt when they don’t fucking deserve it.” Levi’s face hardened, his tone turning angry. “That fool won’t listen to anyone, not even Erwin. His shitty decisions have caused a bunch of unnecessary deaths and no matter what he does, resign or stay or throw himself into a Titan’s mouth, nothing is ever going to undo that.” He finished his tirade with a sneer, glaring up the line at the commander, who was a few dozen yards ahead of you.

You let your head drop, knowing Levi was right. The expedition you’d all just returned from had been a disaster, like the one before it. Far more people had died than was normal, even for the Scouting Regiment, and nothing had been accomplished except the killing of a few titans and the loss of more supplies, weapons, horses, and carts than was reasonable. Two more members of your squad had been killed this time. Your chest felt tight with grief which you couldn’t express until you got a moment to yourself at the pyre that night. You were learning how to cope, but it wasn’t any easier to _feel_.

Levi’s voice dragged you out of your moping. “Look, I’m not actually happy to be right about him,” he said, watching your expression closely. You could almost swear he was worried about you.

“I know.” A gust of wind dragged some of your hair out of its binding and whipped it around your head. You shoved it back from your face and re-tied it impatiently, tired of feeling helpless about Shadis’s piss-poor performance. “Too bad the forest out here is still mostly green, or you could’ve seen the leaves when they've changed. I’d call it beautiful, but every time I’m here, I’m too busy killing Titans or trying not to get eaten to appreciate it.”

Levi appeared to relax the tiniest bit. “Some trees inside have changed color. I saw them on the way here.”

“When the big trees in the training ground start to change their leaves, we’ll go out there when nobody’s training so you can get a good look.” You managed a smile, wincing as you felt dried blood and the gods knew what else cracking and peeling off the skin of your face. “Hope it lives up to expectations.”

“Like that brat you recommended for my squad,” Levi said, turning to look around and make sure he wasn’t overheard.

“Oluo? How’s he doing?”

“I’d appreciate it if he’d drop the weird hero-worship shit, but other than that, he’s working out. Does a good job killing Titans,” Levi observed, and though his tone was annoyed, his actual words constituted high praise from him.

You felt a bit of tension leave you too. “I’m glad to hear it. He was wasted with me as his squad leader. I was half-convinced Shadis would replace me with him one day.”

“Cut that shit out,” Levi said shortly. “You’re good at your job and like I’ve said, there’s more to that than killing. Oluo should be honored to have served under you.”

Before you could reply, the gates had been fully opened. Without another word, you and Levi urged your horses forward to join the rest of the officers at the front of the line near Commander Shadis. Frankly, you were glad of an excuse to get away from Levi and his intemperate mood, though you weren’t sure why it was directed at you.

He hadn’t been Captain Levi for very long, but already his small squad was turning into a formidable weapon in and of itself. Like Anders, some in the Scouting Regiment were envious or resentful that a relative newcomer had been promoted so quickly, but nobody who had witnessed Levi in combat could argue that he didn’t deserve some kind of recognition. He was, quite simply, the best soldier anybody had ever seen, superhumanly fast and deadly, and his hand-picked Special Operations soldiers were all nearly as good as himself. People had quickly learned not to bad-mouth Levi or his squad around you, anyway.

Levi placed himself as usual beside Erwin, slightly behind and to the left of Shadis. You took a place near Hange and the brunette gave you a grin and a thumbs-up despite the unwieldy bandage covering her arm. You could see people from the town ahead, straining to see the face of a loved one -- or to throw rotten eggs and garbage at the regiment, you weren't sure. Many citizens, however, were trying to catch a glimpse of the soldier they’d begun calling “Humanity’s Strongest.” Mike had once held that distinction, but if he resented Levi’s having usurped him, he didn’t let it show.

Levi was talking quietly to Erwin, but as Shadis raised his arm to give the signal to proceed, he looked back at you. You gave him a tired nod to signal that you were all right. He nodded back, cool and expressionless as ever, and you felt better, as though the tension you’d been feeling had all been due to him. You clicked your tongue at your horse and followed the commander forward as the Survey Corps’ latest failed expedition came to an end.

* * * * *

When the first snow fell a month later, you were in your office filling out paperwork. Glancing up, you didn’t realize what it was at first and watched the flakes whirling in the wind outside your window with absent-minded dreaminess. Then you dropped your pen and stood up hastily, hurrying out of your office and down to Levi’s.

You threw open his door without knocking to reveal Levi at his desk, holding a cup of tea by the rim and reading a piece of paper with a slight frown, which deepened when he heard the door burst open. “What?” he barked, then saw that it was you. “What is it?” he asked again in a more normal tone of voice, clearly making an effort to be patient.

In answer, you merely pointed outside. Levi spun around as if he expected a Titan to be peering in at him, then saw what it really was. “Oh. So that’s snow.”

“Come on, we have to go outside to see it properly,” you said, beckoning. Levi sighed but put his teacup and whatever he’d been reading onto the desk and stood up to follow you out the door.

You hurried him through the halls to a door that led out the back of the building, where there were some storage sheds and not much else. No one was around. Light from the windows on the upper floors shone through the dark air, making the snowflakes look like dust motes illuminated by sunbeams. A thin layer of snow already lay on the ground. “Look!”

“I see it.” Levi squinted up into the sky to watch the swirling white flakes falling, then winced and rubbed his eyes as snow got into them. “Ow, shit!” He cast you a dirty look when you laughed.

“It’s probably going to snow all night. Tomorrow’s a full moon and if the weather’s right, it’ll be beautiful. We should wait until everyone’s at the feast and go to the training grounds, like last time.” You and Levi had gone out there early one morning after the giant trees had changed color, and the memory of his expression as you’d zoomed through the air together was one you knew you’d cherish forever, though you would never tell him that.

“Sounds like a plan.” Levi tore his gaze away from the falling snow at last. “ _Tch_. Idiot, running out here with no coat on.”

“You don’t have one either,” you pointed out. “Let’s go inside. Hange has some spiced wine. We’ll cadge some off her to warm us back up. I'm all out, myself.”

“Fuck, no.” Levi scowled. “The last person I want to deal with right now is Shitty Glasses and her attempts to convince me to convince Erwin to convince Shadis to let her capture another titan ‘for research.’ She really is insane. I don’t have any booze either, so let’s just make some tea.” He pulled the door open and you both went back into the building.

You started down the hall, huffing at him. “Fine, fine. But Hange’s a good person under all that madness.”

“ _Tch_.” You opened your mouth to argue some more, but Levi continued, “Your hair is full of snow. Hold on, here -- “

The two of you came to a halt as he took you by the arm and started brushing snowflakes out of your hair, letting them fall onto the floor of the hallway to melt. “You’re getting the floor wet, Levi,” you drawled.

“I don’t care,” he muttered. “It’s not dirt.” After he had made sure the snow was gone, he slowly smoothed the hair back from your face. Levi’s eyes met yours, cool and liquid and with an expression in them that made your breath catch. “You should wear your hair up, like you do in combat. It’s harder to see your eyes this way.”

Your lips parted in surprise. Levi held onto you for a moment longer, then suddenly dropped your arm and stepped back, looking away. His jaw tightened. Suddenly, everything clicked into place, both Levi’s behavior towards you of late and your own feelings about it. You felt your face grow hot.

“Let’s go get that tea. It’s cold tonight, even inside,” you said, trying to sound unaffected by your sudden realization.

He finally met your eyes and nodded without speaking. The two of you turned and continued, side by side, in silence. _I don’t know if we’re fooling ourselves or what_ , you thought, and it was both exciting and terrifying.

* * * * *

Later that night, you found yourself restless again. This time, however, you didn’t go downstairs to the mess hall. You went instead to Hange’s quarters. The light shone from under the door, and when you knocked, her cheerful voice rang out, “Come in!”

You entered cautiously, nearly tripping over Moblit’s prone body, and after making sure he wasn’t in fact dead or unconscious, but merely asleep in a pile of paperwork, you sidled through the chaos of Hange’s laboratory. The scientist herself sat behind her desk, furiously scrawling notes in a stained notebook in between prodding a glass dish with _something_ that appeared to be alive in it. You swallowed and said nervously, “Hange? Do you think I could get a cup of that wine you’ve got?”

“Of course. Let me just finish here." The amorphous blob in the glass dish suddenly squirmed, then reared up and surrounded Hange’s pen, tugging it from her grasp and breaking it in two. You shrieked and jumped back. Hange, on the other hand, clapped her hands in delight. “Do you know what this means?”

“That I should leave right now!” you started, but she shot out of her chair and seized you by the arm before you could run away. Her grip was like iron, and after a moment, you quit struggling, resigned to your fate.

“It’s all right, see? I just put a cover on it,” she told you, and showed you where she had slapped another glass dish over the top of the thing, sealing it inside. It looked quiescent now, although the broken pieces of Hange’s pen were still in its clutches. “What did you say you wanted?”

“Wine,” you managed, feeling even more in need of a drink now. Hange laughed boisterously and dragged you over to a sofa covered in books, papers, lab equipment, and various objects you weren’t at all sure about. She cleared the sofa with a sweep of one long arm, then sat you down at one end before reaching under a table at the other end and producing a bottle and two mostly clean mugs.

“You came at a good time. I was getting a bit thirsty myself,” she said and laughed again, uncorking the bottle and pouring its contents into the mugs. You accepted the one she held out with a nod of thanks and hurriedly took a big swallow before leaning back against the sofa and closing your eyes.

Hange watched you avidly. “Hard day?”

“Not really. Did a lot of paperwork, ran some rookies through a test or two. Oh, it’s snowing right now,” you said without looking around -- Hange’s laboratory lacked windows, the better to contain her more dramatic experiments. “I took Levi outside to show him. He’d never seen snow before.”

“Really? That’s nice, with the Winter Solstice just around the corner. You know what they say, ‘snowy solstices bring warm kisses.’”

“They say that?” you asked, wondering who “they” were.

“Where I’m from, they do.” Hange smiled in a way which made alarm bells ring in your head. “You’ve got someone who’d be willing to make that happen for you.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied coolly, taking another drink.

“Come on,” Hange’s voice became unusually gentle. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve held people at arm’s length, even the ones who were crazy about you. You can’t do that forever, and you shouldn’t do that with Shorty. That asshole front he puts up is hiding a lot.” Hange took a deep drink and sighed happily at the spicy taste of the wine. “You should see what’s behind it. I get the feeling he wants you to.”

“I don’t know if I want to, Hange,” you said, putting a hand across your eyes. “I’ve never really had time for this sort of thing before. I mean, being intimate with someone once in a while is one thing, but…”

“Would you regret it if you tried? Or would you regret it more if you never did? That’s all you need to consider.” Hange wiped her mouth with her sleeve and grinned, patting your back. “I’m going to start taking notes on my experiment again, and you’re welcome to stay and watch if you want to.”

Your eyes widened, and you hurriedly stood up. “No thanks, Hange. I should go off to bed. Thank you for the drink, though.”

“It’s nothing. Get some sleep “ The scientist returned to her desk and started to lift the glass dish keeping its creepy inhabitant from coming out. “Are you sure you won’t watch -- “

“All right, thanks, goodnight!” you called, hurrying out the door. In the hallway, you leaned against the wall to catch your breath, your face still burning at Hange’s words.

* * * * *

The Winter Solstice feast celebrated by the regiment wasn’t like the elegant banquets held by the nobility at that time of year, nor was it much like the homely family gatherings you were used to. Although things had been bleak lately, the regiment seemed united in its desire to celebrate the passage of another year, and the survivors to toast to having made it through. Hange had outdone herself by forcing her entire squad to decorate the mess hall with evergreen branches and candles. The cooks, ever resourceful despite the Survey Corps’ unstable budget, had managed to scrounge up enough meat of dubious origin for a special meal, and there was even a rumor of pies. Mostly, though, what made this a “feast” was the copious amount of alcohol, with people bringing in bottles in such numbers that they lined each table of the mess hall from end to end.

By the time dinner was over, almost everyone was well on their way to intoxication -- everyone except Erwin, who paced himself with admirable restraint, Shadis, who moodily nursed a cup of something in the back of the hall, and yourself and Levi. Both of you had eaten quickly before slipping out to the equipment shed where the training gear was kept. It wasn’t that you feared being caught -- you were officers, after all, and no one would question your having gone outside -- but rather, you both wanted to keep this between yourselves without really discussing why.

You wore your winter uniforms: thick woolen trousers and the heavy turtlenecks that went with them, with extra shirts and long underwear beneath for good measure, since your ODMG gear wouldn’t work with your coats on. You’d pinned your hair up under a hat, and Levi had forgone his cravat for a knit scarf. You hadn’t donned your harnesses since nobody else had bothered with theirs for the Solstice feast, so you instead carried them out to the shed. There was a lot of swearing from you both as you tried to adjust them over your many layers of clothing, but you finally got them buckled on and everything else strapped into place. With a last look around, you left the shed and the shadow of headquarters, and tramped toward the woods, venturing deep enough to use your ODMG.

“Follow me,” you called, firing upwards and lifting yourself into the air. Levi did the same, and the two of you began to fly past the leafless but snow-covered branches of the huge trees. Above you, the sky was clear and starry, and the highest branches clawed towards the full moon hanging there. Below, the untouched white surface of the snow glittered as if trying to imitate the sky above. It was breathtaking, and as you looked over at Levi, you could see that he was as affected by it as you were.

After a few minutes of whizzing around, your voices echoing in the empty forest, you pointed to a platform in a taller tree near one of the Titan dummies used for practice. “We can stop there for a bit.” It was the same platform upon you’d stood with Mike, watching Levi and his friends. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it had been only a few months.

“Fine with me,” Levi responded. With practiced ease, you swung forward and landed on the platform, with Levi arriving only a second or two later. You kicked some of the snow off the platform to make it easier to stand before you both looked around. It was peacefully quiet in the woods, though you could hear the faint sounds of raised voices coming from the direction of headquarters and what sounded like a cork popping, the party having apparently moved outside.

“So what do you think?” you asked Levi, who was looking at the snow that lined the top of every branch.

“It’s all right,” he deadpanned, and you laughed. You reached out a gloved hand to lean against one of the tree’s side trunks. Unfortunately, as you rested your weight against the tree, the branch above you creaked loudly before dumping a load of snow right on top of you and Levi, making you shriek in surprise and dismay.

“Shit!” Levi suddenly did a kind of flailing dance as snow slid down inside his clothes. You shook yourself wildly, trying to get out from under it yourself.

“Aaaah! Levi, I’m sorry -- wait, _look out!_ ” He had come too close to the edge of the platform. You were pretty sure he’d be able to catch himself with his gear if he fell, but you grabbed the front of his harness with both hands to haul him back. Snow slid under your feet and both of you lost your balance. Levi seized you by the waist and with a mighty effort, he kept you both from falling off the platform.

“Ugh, sorry,” you groaned. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, especially now that you’ve saved me from falling to my death,” he said dryly. Then he met your eyes and stopped. You still hadn’t let go of his harness, and his hands remained on your waist. Both of you appeared to realize this, as well as the fact that you were totally alone in the forest, at the same time.

Slowly, as if you were a frightened animal he didn’t want to scare off, Levi let go of your waist with one hand and cupped your face with his gloved palm. He stared at you so intensely you thought his gaze might burn a hole straight through you, and it made your blood ignite in your veins. You uncurled your grip from his straps and moved your hands up his chest to his shoulders. Though he probably couldn’t feel much thanks to all the layers he had on, you could swear he shivered at your touch.

“You,” he began. “You look -- shit, I’m no good at this,” he grumbled, his voice dropping.

You felt yourself start to tremble, but not from the cold. “What, Levi?” you murmured, moving closer to him.

“I…” It was strange to see him at a loss for words, since Levi normally had a sharp response to nearly everything anyone said. But you knew what it meant and it made your heart pound. His gaze dropped to your lips before he lifted his eyes to yours again. “Oh, fuck it,” he groaned at last, and leaned forward to cover your mouth with his.

His lips were cold, but they warmed quickly as he kissed you, and the feel of you seemed to fire his blood as much as the kiss was firing yours. His arms snaked around you and pulled you into a tight embrace. Letting go of his shoulders, you wrapped your arms around him too, so that your bodies pressed close together, and you silently cursed all the clothing you were both wearing.

When he pulled away, his pupils were blown wide and he was breathing harder, but then again, so were you. “I’ve never met anyone like you. I didn’t know how to say...this,” he whispered, even though there was no one around to overhear.

“I think you did fine,” you whispered back, smiling, before pulling him in for another kiss, this one longer and hotter as he swiped his tongue over your bottom lip and you opened your mouth for him.

You might have stood out there on the platform clinging to each other and kissing for hours, but it was rather cold and you were both still covered in snow. Levi’s mouth left yours to touch your jawline, then the corner of your mouth before pulling away. His face was porcelain-pale in the moonlight, so beautiful you felt your chest tighten. “Let’s go back to my quarters,” he murmured.

There was only one answer you could make to that. “Yes,” you whispered back.  
  
* * * * *

It was a good thing both of you were so proficient with the ODMG because you weren’t sure you could wait a second longer than necessary to be in Levi’s arms again.

After reaching the shed and hurriedly putting your equipment away, he took your hand and you circled the front courtyard where a fierce snowball fight was raging between what looked like Ness’s squad and the medical staff, who appeared to be winning. You entered the headquarters unnoticed. Everyone else was still in the mess hall. The sounds of a violin and some cheerful voices singing unsteadily could be heard, but you were both single-minded about reaching your destination.

"You're...protected, right?" he muttered as the two of you entered the last hallway leading to Levi's door.

You nodded. "I take the usual precautions," you said, meaning a certain contraceptive mixture women regularly drank to avoid becoming pregnant. The military issued it to all female soldiers as part of basic medical care, and you had been ingesting it for years.

"Good," he breathed in your ear, "because I don't think I can wait any longer to have you." That made you shiver.

Levi unlocked his office door with haste, guiding you in before shutting and locking it again behind you. You turned to face him, caught his eye, and pulled off your boots, letting them hit the floor. Then, without breaking your gaze from his, you started unbuckling your harness. He did the same, watching your hands as you rid yourself of the complicated straps and lifted your uniform shirt over your head. His own turtleneck hit the floor, his hair slightly mussed from taking it off. Every layer of clothing you or Levi removed was cast aside recklessly, and you delighted in the fact that he wasn’t complaining about it because he wanted you so badly.

You didn't take your eyes off each other as you moved slowly towards his bedroom door, shedding clothing along the way. Halfway there, Levi lost patience and dragged you into his arms again, kissing you with such heat that your knees went weak. He deftly unbuckled your belt, nearly tearing open your trousers before pushing them down. You wriggled free of them, kicking them to the side as you pulled off another of his shirts. His hands slid beneath your undershirt, calloused fingers tracing up your rib cage until he reached your breasts, and he uttered a low groan when he discovered you weren’t wearing anything underneath.

Levi let go of you long enough to open the door to his bedroom, but once you were inside, he started kissing you again as if he needed your breath to survive. You dropped your hands and managed to undo his belt and unbutton his pants, which he shucked off along with his underwear, as well as pulling his last shirt over his head. The light from outside came into the room through the window, illuminating his body, all hard muscle and sculpted flesh and throbbing _want_ , and you knew you had to have him.

You stepped back and slowly slid your panties down your legs, then reached for the hem of your shirt and peeled it up and away from you, letting it slip to the floor. His hungry gaze swept over your form, and he said your name almost reverently, his voice low and husky with desire. You held out your hands and he moved swiftly into your embrace.

“I want you so much,” you murmured into his ear. He made a sound halfway between a moan and a growl, picking you up by the waist and hurrying you to his bed. The room was chilly and you both slipped under the blankets, pressing your bodies together, the heat of your flesh warming each other instantly.

Levi's hands traveled everywhere along your body, learning where all your sensitive places were. He sucked hard against the skin of your throat, making you cry out, and his lips curved in a smile. His smugness didn't last long, though. When your fingers wandered down to the straining erection pressed against your belly, he hissed and bucked involuntarily into your grasp.

“Ah, _fuck_. It’s been…a while...” he ground out, his voice strained as if he was trying to keep himself from coming right there and then.

“For me too,” you said breathlessly. His hands cupped your breasts, thumbs flicking your nipples until you mewled, panting harder. You swiped your thumb around the head of his cock as you stroked him, and Levi’s breathing sped up as well.

You were both becoming desperate, rolling over and back, limbs entangled as you tried to touch each other as much as possible, although you were losing your focus with his fingers buried inside you. When his thumb brushed your clit, sending sparks through your body, you knew you couldn’t wait. Both of you had wanted this for a long time now, you knew.

“Levi, fuck me,” you breathed. “I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Neither can I.” He took his fingers out of you, but you didn’t have long to mourn their absence. Levi sat up on his knees and lifted you up, pulling you into his lap. You straddled his thighs as he wrapped the blanket around you both. Reaching between your bodies, you curled a hand around him again, making him exhale shakily, his steel-colored eyes boring into yours.

Without breaking eye contact, you lifted yourself up so you could take him in.  When the head of his cock pushed into your dripping entrance, both of you moaned. Levi’s grip on you suddenly tightened and he pulled you down hard onto him, impaling you to the hilt. You threw your head back, crying out again as he filled you so deliciously that tears pricked the corners of your eyes.

His mouth fell open against your skin, breath coming hot, and his body was trembling. “Oh, _fuck_.”

You said his name and your voice was a breathy whine, so different from your usual steady, calm tones. Levi panted into your chest as you shifted, bringing yourself up and then slowly down, loving the way he felt inside you, like you were made for each other. His hands moved up to grasp your shoulders for leverage, and then he pushed deeper into you as you slid down again. You made a strangled cry and began riding him in earnest as he rose to meet you. The two of you found a rhythm, lost in each other’s bodies and the pleasure building between you.

You leaned down so you could kiss him again. His arms wound around your body as he shifted his angle slightly, and his next thrust made you see stars. “Don’t stop!” you cried, tearing yourself away from the kiss and slamming yourself down onto his cock at a faster pace. Levi's movements sped up to match yours. His face was flushed, eyes dark with passion.

“Ahhh _yes,_ you feel so -- “ His words cut off as you grabbed his hair and pulled his head back to kiss his jawline, your mouth sucking at the tender skin just under it. He made a noise you hadn't known you could pull from him. “I’m close,” he gasped. “Almost.”

Levi's fingers moved down to where your bodies were joined, finding your clit and giving it fast, rough strokes that made your eyes roll back into your head. You hung on tightly, arms wrapped around him and about to go over the edge, wanting to take him with you. He growled your name and pounded up into you so hard that you fell apart almost instantly, and your voice rose in a scream. Levi pressed his mouth against you, only partly muffling his own sounds while he stilled and his cock pulsed inside you as he came.

The blanket had fallen away unnoticed, and you belatedly realized you were covered in sweat that was rapidly cooling on your skin. Levi was as well, but for a while neither of you moved, leaning against each other while you caught your breath. “Shower,” he muttered eventually, and you climbed off him and moved off the bed, trying to ignore the feeling of his come sliding down your thighs.

He walked you into the bathroom and turned on the water, drawing you beneath the spray with him, and you washed each other's bodies carefully with slow, gentle touches, so different from the way you’d practically tried to tear each other apart moments ago. Both of you had numerous love bites on your skin, and when Levi turned around, you saw the scratches you’d left on his back. But you felt _good_. It had indeed been some time since you’d last had sex, and you were pretty sure nobody else had ever made you feel the way he had just done.

Levi insisted on changing the sheets on his bed after you finished showering. “Do you want me to leave?” you asked, standing wrapped in a blanket as he tossed the dirtied sheets to the floor.

He turned to look at you with his level, hooded gaze, hair still damp and a wicked-looking bruise blooming on his shoulder where you’d bitten him. “No.” He paused. “Do you want to leave?”

You shook your head. “Good,” he said in that toneless voice, though his eyes warmed considerably.

He went back to rearranging the bed. When he was done, you both climbed back under the covers. His fingers drifted over your hair, and you felt yourself go boneless in his embrace before falling asleep.

* * * * *

You woke to silence. Levi was nowhere to be seen, but before you could climb out of his bed, the sound of the door shutting in the office outside made you stop, clutching the blankets to your naked chest. The bedroom door opened and Levi came in, dressed but still somewhat disheveled, yet looking as stoic as ever.

“Put some clothes on. I brought us food, but we aren’t eating it in here,” he informed you. He watched you dress, his eyes lingering on your body while you managed to throw on a shirt and find your pants in the office outside. Levi collected the rest of the scattered clothing into a pile on a chair before pulling another chair up beside his at the desk.

“Hardly anybody else is awake,” he told you as the two of you began to eat. “Guess they’re all sleeping it off. I saw your brother in the mess hall, though. He looked like shit.”

“Anders has a surprisingly low alcohol tolerance for a man of his size,” you said lightly, taking a drink from your cup. You paused -- it was some of Levi’s black tea and your favorite kind, which he’d clearly made for you himself without being asked. Your oatmeal had bits of dried fruit in it too, you saw, just the way you liked it. Your heart swelled, as if he’d gotten down on one knee and declared his love for you.

Anders was really going to need to keep his mouth shut to your parents, at least for a while. Until you yourself were sure about this. But for now...

“What are you staring at?” Levi asked, since you’d stopped eating and were just sitting there looking at him.

You took away the teacup he was holding and set it gently on the desk, then leaned close and kissed him. He drew in a sharp breath, but his lips softened as he kissed you back. You were pretty sure his heart was beating as fast as yours, judging from the way he quickly reached up to hold your face in his hands.

When you drew away, you were smiling. Levi’s own face had gone faintly pink. He blinked, then let go of you and tried to glare, unsuccessfully. “Eat,” he said, pointing to your bowl, “or it’ll get cold, and I’m not bringing you another.”

“As you say, Captain,” you replied, the smile never leaving your face.

**Author's Note:**

> My love, I am the speed of sound  
> I left them motherless, fatherless  
> Their souls dangling inside-out from their mouths  
> But it's never enough  
> I want you
> 
> \-- Neko Case, "This Tornado Loves You"


End file.
